Life's Turning Point of a Running Believer

In every man's life, they say there comes a time when he would feel that he's been going thru the same path over and over again. Pain, failure, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, loss... Sometimes he would feel he's stuck and would realize that maybe, just maybe, just to put the blame to something that might be responsible for everything that has happened in his life, would think that there's something wrong with the world, with other people, with his daily routine or maybe if he's brave enough, would realize there's something wrong with himself. Some people would probably call this a quarter-life crisis or a mid-life crisis, when the truth is, this person just needs saving… the kind of saving that has been given to him a long time ago but has not been accepted yet.

In a Christian life, before a man even start to commit his life to share God’s word and love, he recognizes a “turning point” when he first realized God’s truth in giving up His only Son to pay for our sins and show us unconditional love; turned away from his old life to welcome a new spirit graced by God for believing in Him (Ezekiel 36:26a). This is when every man realizes that God has never left his side and has always been there trying to call his attention to turn to Him. This is when every man starts to feel God’s presence within him, having the same voice that’s calling him during the lowest point of his life… the voice that never gave up on him.

I was a “running believer” since I was seven. You heard it right, seven (7) years old. I am the eldest child among six (6) children but I am the third eldest child of my father. I grew up fast and matured fast the moment I stopped counting on my age and embraced the role of being an “A-TE” (English word: ELDER SISTER) to my siblings. I was seven when my mom first decided to leave my dad, carry us along with her (me, my 28-year old brother now, and my 21-year old brother who was still a few months old baby then), and rented an apartment near our school. One of the most unforgettable scenes in my life was when one day, my mom realized she ran out of powdered milk for my baby brother and he was already crying hard because of hunger. So she decided to leave the three of us and went to the supermarket. We don’t have the luxury to have a nanny or a helper that time so as the eldest child, I needed to look out for my brothers and take care of them. We were just outside the apartment waiting for our mom to come back while I was carrying my youngest brother and my other brother was shaking the last bottle of milk for our youngest, and we were crying simultaneously while performing our roles. I think that was the best part and we could have won an award for that if only our lives were part of a movie. This was the time when I accepted the eldest sister challenge and told to myself that I will strive in life and do whatever it takes to be successful so if some accident comes up and my siblings and I ended up as orphans, I would be able to support all of us so we don’t have to eat noodles every day. Yes, I was a dramatic/creative/paranoid seven-year old child but full of courage.

Things worked out that time and we were living together with my dad and half-brothers and sisters (from the previous spouses). This is the part of my life when I realized that you can be a brother or a sister to anybody even if you’re just 50% blood related or not. My half-brothers and sisters showed us unselfish love and who am I to feel or show otherwise? I was blessed to have elder brothers and sisters given that I am my mother’s eldest child. In that case alone, I am grateful. This is why I called myself a “running believer.” I believed that there are better reasons for everything and that there are more important things than having to be selfish and rant or complain about our complicated family life situation. I knew that there is God and that He gave up Jesus for us because of my Christian (born again) half-sisters. I always ask them and they tell me stories about Him. For that, again, I am blessed and grateful. So I was running from one religion to another to understand better and somehow learn how to “save” or make things better for us. I grew up as a responsible daughter while I enabled myself to enjoy and go thru life as how others are living it especially when I reached college life.

I was a “running believer” when my life was turned around and God saved my life. I knew that God has His foundation in me when I was seven but I was trying to run away from complications and could not completely turn my eyes on Him as I was making myself busy trying to be competitive and successful in anything I do and trying to enjoy life at the same time. I knew God was behind me all the time because for every moment I cried in my room, He was there. I have been trying to talk to Him, crying my heart out to Him and asking Him questions I couldn’t answer that time. I couldn’t answer and comprehend because I wasn’t listening to Him and instead was busy trying to find answers in this wicked world.

Even in the most common aspect of life, I have been an explorer in love and have been trying to find “the heart” that God has planted in me in my previous relationships. He has allowed me to have four (4) serious relationships (excluding my fiancé’s) and a few flings when I was still playing around to open my eyes and understand some things I can never learn at home or in church. The best and most important thing of all is that He taught me unconditional love and what “unselfish” really means when He asked me to love my best friend and accept anything and everything that will come our way. This is the time when I asked myself, did God just asked me to forget about the “reputation” I built as I was trying to be successful in college? For what? LOVE? The answer was YES. God has put me in a situation where I think no one would ever wish for. The only thing that kept my courage, aside from love, is the faith that He has a plan. I was already going thru some traps and Joker character could have been the best imitation of Satan’s character if it wasn’t for the creation of repentance and the existence of God’s truths to know that Batman will always be there to save the day even if fear and darkness have consumed the place.

God brought different people in my life to teach me and open my eyes to the things unseen. I can say I have been in the best and worst places and scenarios you can think of, I can also say I have been with the best and worst people in the world, the best and worst things, though relative, brought me to Jesus. I have found my way and stopped running because He found and loved me first. When he did, he never stopped following me and never gave up on me. You can already guess why I am here now at this point, trying to share my story thru His grace and hopefully can inspire others.

As I bring you my last words, let me share with you the lyrics of the song “Everything” by Lifehouse and the skit that was also shared to me and always gives me goose bumps. I’ve shown this same skit to my best friend turned fiancé before and our lives were never the same. This will remind us that no matter what happens, God will never give up on us and for that we must never give up on each other no matter how things get complicated and painful.

EVERYTHING by Lifehouse

Find me here, speak to me
I want to feel You, I need to hear You
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace again

You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose, You're everything

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and You give me rest
You hold me in Your hands, You won't let me fall
You steal my heart, and You take my breath away
Would You take me in, take me deeper now

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

'Cause You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything

You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything

And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?
Would You tell me, how could it be any better than this?

As me and my fiancé continue our walk with God towards a life committed to serve and glorify Him, I found my life bible verse, which I can bring with me every day as I continue to become God’s warrior:

Ephesians 6:10-17

New International Version (NIV)

The Armor of God

“¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

How about you? When was your turning point? J

http://instagr.am/p/V-SRJ/

Love As a Weapon

LOVE: The greatest weapon made for a life warrior

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.” ~ An unforgettable line from one of my personal favorite movies, Moulin Rouge.

I remember in grade school when I used to answer questions on slambook, I spent most of my time thinking and answering the question, “What is Love?” I always felt like I could never answer it as fast as I can respond to “who is your crush,” “what is your motto,” and even “your most embarrassing moment.” As young as 7 years old, I thought that there is something better than “love is sweet,” “love is kind,” and even “love is my crush,” so I settled with “love is sacrifice,” knowing somehow that love is still more than that.

As people experience life, each person may have a different understanding of love. Each man and woman may have a different definition of what it is depending on what they give importance to, what they perceive as acceptable, and even on what they have learned and believed as something they can adapt to. Some people even consider different approaches in love like being practical or realistic as they go thru life or idealistic with a hope that they will find what they have been looking for while keeping their own values intact.

Though each of us may have a different interpretation, the Christian Bible, which I consider a life’s standard, also has its own. It says a lot of things about what love is and what love isn’t.  It refers to love as BOLD LOVE. Loving boldly goes beyond just getting along. It involves commitment to engage for the purpose of seeing others as well as yourself being changed in the process of love. Bold love means to learn to love with God’s character or reflecting God’s character in the way we love.

The sour truth is that we are constantly at war in this life. It is a kind of war or battle that cannot be fought without a heart that is willing to engage in love. We are constantly at war with evil, the kind of evil that God hates and the kind that puts the presence of “sin” in this world. However, the most beautiful truth is, God loves us too much so He gave up His only Son to save and spare us from our sins. His unlimited goodness and unconditional love gave us the next most awesome thing in this world (next to LOVE), forgiveness. No matter how many times we fail, make mistakes, hurt Him, forget Him, put the blame on Him, God chooses to forgive and love us unconditionally. The act of giving up His only son simply showed us His gift of love that can overcome any form of sin and evil.

Sin exists. Evil exists. People will be at constant battle with evil and temptation. There is no question that there are people who harmed us, hurt us and have sinned against us. But the radical truth is… every failure or hurtful situation is an opportunity to show BOLD LOVE.

Every battle gives us the privilege to LOVE. It is the only reason why God made his sacrificial decision… and it is the greatest weapon God made available for FREE so we can fight our own battles in life.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

A Warrior in Faith

Fight for the right reasons. Never for pride & revenge. Keep the Faith. May the purest heart win. Goodluck #PACMAN!


"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone." (Romans 12:17 NIV)

The Way I See You

(This is something I wrote sometime in 2009 when God was trying to write my love story)

You called me up last night
Drunk, crying and not light
Told me things that hurt you bad
While other people can be so glad

In a state of melancholy
No one knows you are unhappy
They say you’re selfish and unworthy
When you’re truly giving selflessly

You only cared for other’s sake
Your own happiness is at stake
This act of suffering is not fake
I accept but the pain I couldn’t take

Don’t you know how I see you?
Can’t you see how I look at you?
Try and look deep into my eyes
In my heart it’s you who resides

I’m hurting that you’re hurting
I’m crying because you’re crying
Oh I pray that your heart is open
To grasp and follow what has been written

Now listen as you cry for longing
I see you flying while I’m not moving
I’m not moving because I’m watching
Can you see the colors that you’re casting?

If you can only see
How God made you to be
Don’t be surprised coz it’s real
You're beautiful in every way I see

LIBRE MANGARAP

"LIBRE MANGARAP"

Ipikit ang iyong mga mata

Pakinggan ang bawat hinga

Huwag didilat kung hindi pa kaya

Manalangin sa bawat kaba

Mga panahong hindi sigurado

Kulang na lang mabato

Sa bawat oras at minuto

Pakinggan mo na lang ako

Ipikit ang iyong mga mata

Isipin lang ang gustong makita

Libre lang mangarap diba?

Kaya't imulat matalinghaga mong mata

Walang ibang araw kung di ngayon na….

Mga bagay na nangdedehado

Huwag bigyang pansin ang 'di totoo

Kung hindi ngayon, kailan at papaano?

Magtiwala ka sa Ama na nagplano

May dahilan ang lahat sa mundo

Kung hindi alam huwag magmarunong

Libre naman mangarap sa isip mo

Tumayo ka at ito ang gawin mo…

Ipikit ang iyong mga mata

Magagandang bagay na gustong makita

Libre mangarap kahit kailan mo gusto

Idilat mo mga matang namumugto

Liwanag lang ang makikita mo….

Who is your MAIN MAN?

As early as possible, I would like to share this thought to my loved ones:

MAKE GOD AS YOUR MAIN SOURCE OF HAPPINESS IN THIS LIFE HE’S GIVEN YOU.

HOW? Seek Him, Accept His LOVE and GRACE, LOVE HIM and then TELL OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT HIM.

Here are some thoughts why I think THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

First question that you can consider:

If your source of happiness is someone or something that can also be taken away from you in just a snap, would you be able to say that you will be genuinely happy years from now?

Let’s say for example, you say you’re happy because you have a nice car, you have your own house, you have the best job that fits you, you earn so much that you can already buy anything you want when you want it, you have a happy family, you have good and real friends, and you have the best boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancé, or husband/wife you could ever have. Isn’t it nice to think and dream to have these all at the same time? :) Oh yes, I definitely agree. :)

...but here comes the next one..

What if, one day, SUDDENLY, your EVERYTHING is GONE? Just like that. You have no idea WHY, you know you could never comprehend and you just come to a point where you ask God, “what have I done to deserve this?”

The truth is, when we talk about “what we deserve?” WE DESERVE NOTHING. The word "deserve" has been pulled out from my vocabulary a long time ago. :) I was and still am happy after that. :) The truth is, we are forever unworthy. GOD just LOVES US UNCONDITIONALLY. And if you start to think and accept that we are unworthy of ANYTHING, you will surprisingly start to APPRECIATE EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. Even the smallest detail that you do not even know exists. If bad things happen to you all at the same time, when (literally) your face is flat on the floor, don’t you think, probably, God is just trying to knock on your door and “reminding” you, “My child, do you remember Me? How about you make me your NUMBER ONE this time?”

The truth is, if you put God first and make Him your MAIN source of HAPPINESS, whatever happens to you, even to the people or things that you desire most, you will still be complete and your life will always be FULFILLED. EVERYTHING ELSE FOLLOWS, everything you need, everything that you pray for and EVERYTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU.

Then slowly… you will see, and you can say, that you are truly HAPPY whatever comes your way. :)

May God continue to bless your life. :)

Crab Mentality

According to www.quiettimeswithgod.com, CRAB MENTALITY is a trait common of many Filipinos. This concept is a metaphor of a bucket of crabs usually found in wet markets wherein the crabs pull each other down and trample each other to be able to escape. Crab Mentality is an unfriendly competition among individuals that involves slandering, back-biting, and trampling on another to get ahead. It is a trait that dates back to the Spanish colonization wherein the Filipino Indios heavily depended on the favor of the Spanish Insulares and made ways to damage each other’s reputation to be able to step up.

Wherever you go in the corporate world, you will definitely meet a lot of these crab-like thinking people. I have and continuously am. It doesn’t matter whether you’re working for a liquor company, for a bakeshop or even for a pharmaceutical company. A year ago, I thought I should stop working for local companies and consider working for multi-national companies where probably the system is more professional, internationally standardized and there’s probably less “politics”. I was wrong. There’s always nothing wrong with the company but with the people working in it and how their minds are set. The company is not able to control the tongues of its employees 24/7 and how its employees can damage each other just because of greed. Though companies can always control these instances at a certain level but the cause and effect is immeasurable and uncontrollable. Ultimately, crab mentality will forever exist in this wicked world. No matter where or how we look at it, we can’t blame any person, even the company or ourselves for its existence. I don't even want to focus on its existence but on how I am going to deal with it. How? By just keeping one thought in mind: My life’s goal, which is to HONOR & Please God. Let me give you some ideas on how you can actually deal with Crab Mentality.

Dealing with the “CRAB” (Person)

Step 1: You probably have an idea who among your co-workers are saying untrue things behind your back and trying to pull you down. Instead of wishing and telling yourself, “I hope this person die in any moment now!” try asking yourself, “Why does this kind of person exist in this world?” “What is his purpose?”

This person who might envy you for your greatness or intelligence, or probably because your younger and you look better than him/her, FOR WHATEVER REASON, this person does exist in this world TO CONSISTENTLY CHALLENGE YOU TO BE A BETTER PERSON. If you get mad and you try to do the same thing that person is doing, do you think it will make you a better person? I must say no. This person’s current state of mind is being used to challenge your capability to be kind, humble and love unconditionally. Treat this person with extra kindness and patience. Learn to love this person DESPITE his greed and bad intentions because you simply love God and it’s Him you want to please.

Dealing with the situation

Step 2: There might probably be work stuff and details that are affected or ruined by crab mentality. There might be projects that you’re heading and tasks were drawn to fail so things could look like crap. People may want you to look like a big failure so you either quit and resign or get terminated by your boss because of consistent failure. Instead of trying to pinpoint the mistakes and go into details why your project failed, focus on the solution and get things done professionally and in a SMARTER WAY.

If you think there are things that you cannot control or probably there might be people who are trying to sabotage you, go out of that “box” and THINK AHEAD. Accountability is the name of the game. You are accountable for your project and there are other people or departments who are working with you and are accountable for their own tasks but ultimately, you can always do things better by determining or identifying the problem, developing action plans and present the plan with the team, and implement the fastest way possible focusing on achieving the main goal of your project. Dealing with the situation professionally and decently will always keep you at a safe place, a place where no one can harm you and where you can’t even hurt yourself and other people, just doing the best you can as if you’re always doing your tasks for God.

Dealing with yourself and God

Step 3: You might be losing your grip and you just want to shout, walk away and get a bucket of beer. You might be hurting or crying inside the comfort room and telling yourself, “I can’t take this anymore! I just want to get out and have peace!” You might just be forcing yourself to stay in the corporate world because you’re saying you have to. You might have a lot of things running in your mind and pressuring you and giving you the stress that you don’t need. Just pray. Silently or while crying, just pray. Talk to the only ONE who can let anything bad taken away from your heart and from your mind. God will always do something and make something happen to help you. Even through your other officemates who are trustworthy, through small things that you encounter everyday, through your girlfriend/boyfriend or lifetime partners, through your parents or siblings and even friends. ANYTHING. God is always in control and He can take down ANYTHING that is pulling you away from Him. Just pray and ask Him to help you as you surrender “this” to Him.

God is BIGGER than ANYTHING. Just imagine how big GOD is compared to this CRAB MENTALITY. There are greater possibilities with God than man. :)


In my office

A SWEET RIDE

Life is like Surfing.

You have the whole ocean as the “world”.
The waves are the opportunities in our everyday lives.
The line-up, where everybody else is waiting for their own perfect wave to catch, represents “the” places, objects, time and people who gave us and constantly allow us to have opportunities. The line-up is where “everything” sets.

There’s a current that will constantly pull you away from your “spot” or from the line-up. Most of the time, you get pulled away unnoticed.

There’s only one way to fight the drift: PADDLE! Paddle your way back to the spot or to the line-up. I know it’s hard because you have already paddled your way out to the line-up from the shore but if you don’t paddle back, you may not only loose your chances in getting a perfect wave and have the possible “best ride” of your life, but a wild wave might also come to where you got lost and boom! Wipeout!

In catching a wave, there are times that the waves may be too big for us to get and the only way for us to go is down under. There are waves that are too small for us and we can choose to ride it smoothly and when we reach the shore, we will have to paddle back again to the line-up. Some people may find this alright but some people think this will just be a waste of time and a missed opportunity in getting a better ride.

We may have the “skill” or enough experience in reading the waves and trying to see if the next wave is “the one” for you, the good thing is you have your family and friends as the “other dudes and dudettes” or “other surfers” who are there with you on the line-up. They will help you and make sure that you get to ride a wave at least once. While there are some dudes who will challenge you and might even make you feel that he or she is damn better than you, some will not quit in pushing you to go beyond your limits. Other than that, still the saddest thing is when you surf alone.

Riding the wave is the best thing. It’s also the best feeling. Just the feeling of being able to get or catch that wave on your own is something! All of a sudden, your hard work, your arms that hurt so bad from paddling and running after that wave, and your fear of getting another “wipeout” are all gone. Swoooooooosh! You start hearing yourself saying: “Oh! It’s worth it!”

Riding a wave is the exact moment or experience in our lives where we feel “This is it!” or we just simply feel GOOD and HAPPY as if we’re floating or flying. There are a lot of things that can happen in riding a wave. You can ride it and own it! Feel awesome because you are so good at riding it. You can even do your tricks on it like trim it or do a cut back or even an aerial if you can. You can finish it up to the shore and go paddle back again for another ride. You can also fall because you can loose your balance and boom another wipeout. You can finish and just call it a day.

The best thing is you learn something new in your every ride. Even if you’re so good at surfing, you will still be surprised in what the wave has to offer you. It’s unpredictable. One thing’s for sure, you took that ride. Oh yes, you may have finished it and rode it like a “dirty bum bum claat” or you may have fallen down and the wave just wiped you out, the important thing is you took it, and you didn't give up. You helped yourself up and breathe again. Then you can tell yourself… “I think, I just think, I can call myself a surfer.” :)

Other than everything that was mentioned, there’s only one thing left, your surfboard.

Your surfboard and your leash are the things that will stick with you no matter what. When you paddle out to the line-up, when you’re on the line-up, when you’re being pulled away by the current, when you try to paddle back, when you catch a wave, ride a wave, when you’re being wiped out, and even when you give up and just call it a day, your surfboard and your leash will walk with you. It’s like God and prayer walking with you... It is the sweetest ride that will always bring you back to the shore :D

Life is like Surfing. Go and Paddle! Have a great ride! :)

@Normi2's Beachfront Resort, Taboc, San Juan, La Union